Happiness

I listened to this article a couple of weeks ago and wanted to share it here. The article was written by an Eastern Orthodox monk in Washington State. You can find this and other articles by Abbot Tryphon at his blog at morningoffering.blogspot.com. You can listen to the audio here.

I can personally attest to the power of gratitude in my life. By practicing thankfulness, I can see God and the gifts with which He has blessed me. Intentionally being grateful for hardships and trials helps me give those over to God and trust in His provision and love for me.

Happiness

Gratefulness makes us happy

We all know that money can't buy happiness, yet many are not aware that practicing simple gratitude does bring about happiness. Being grateful for the people we have in our lives, and for the things that we have, brings about a happiness that can not come about by endlessly trying to acquire things. Researchers testing gratefulness in laboratories have discovered that gratitude actually changes the brain, and makes us happier because it allows us to be happier. Gratitude changes more than brain chemistry, for it makes us better, happier, and kinder to others.

If we practice being thankful for the compliments we receive from our friends, and for those dinners they treat us to, the gifts they give us, the flowers they bring to our home, or for just being there when we need them, we will find that our gratitude brings about more friendships, for others will be drawn to us.

Dr. Robert A. Emmons conducted a study on gratitude at the University of California at Davis which proved measurable benefits on psychological, physical, and interpersonal health for subjects who practice gratitude. "Evidence on gratitude contradicts the widely held view that all people have a 'set-point' of happiness that cannot be reset by any known means." Translated, this simply means that if we practice gratitude we can actually be happier than we've ever thought possible.

Gratitude is an affirmation of goodness, for in our being grateful we affirm that there are good things in the world, and good people that are part of our lives. Our being grateful does not mean that everything in life is perfect, but it does mean that we look at life as a whole, and receive with gratitude all the goodness that is in our life. In turn, our gratitude becomes the foundation for building up those around us, for in being happy ourselves, we are more likely to bring about happiness in others.

Being happy nurtures those random acts of kindness that everyone loves to experience, and promotes goodness and kindness among even strangers. People love it when other people are good to random people. This happiness becomes like a magnet, and even strangers are drawn to us, and our list of friends proliferates. There is nothing that brings about satisfaction like being grateful for our life, for the lives of those around us, for the things in our lives, and for the love God has for us. Remember, it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.

With love in Christ,

Abbot Tryphon

Until Later

     One of the dearest things to me is the time I get to spend on Monday nights at "Girls's Group". The meetings were originally started by a young lady from my church whom I've known my entire life. She wanted a chance to get to know the girls of the church and she invited us into her home. Every Monday we make tea, pray, read a devotion, sit in silence, and have long, spiritual discussions. After about a year of this, I have found that it has greatly influenced my life. I now can see the direction I want my life to go. 

     Recently, God has called this woman and her family to seminary, several states away. She is leaving in a few weeks, and tonight we held a mini party for her. As I sat trying to gather words to express what a blessing she has been to me, I was speechless. She has been beside me for my whole life. She's been a mother, a sister, a mentor, and a guardian angel. God's love shines through her in every way imaginable and all I can say is that I want to be like her when I grow up. That is my goal. 

     So today, and always, I am exceedingly thankful for her love and guidance. I will not and can not say goodbye entirely, but I will say this: until later. 

The Little Candle

Over the past year or two, I have found that many many things come down to proper balance, something that I have struggled with this past semester as I got ready to graduate high school, move on to college, and say goodbye (and hello) to many things. I was encouraged today by a friend telling me that it is totally normal to feel like falling apart. These are hard transitions, even though they bring much good. That is something that I need to hear. The goal is always to come back into balance, but I need to hear it's normal and OK to fall apart through this. Especially through times when I feel out of balance, I feel the need even more to be intentionally thankful, to stay positive, and remember that I do not travel alone. For me at least, in rough times, it is hard to be thankful about what is actually happening. But it is through being thankful for the little tiny things that I am able to slowly begin to give the bigger things to God. With this in mine, I am thankful for many little things:

• that I got to go to Confession today
• that I got to have some very good conversations today
• for cookies and tea with a friend
• for her smiling son
• for the little candle that was on the tea tray
• for beautiful things like sun and rain which both happened today
• for summer projects
• that I'm going out of town soon
• that I got to drink coffee and tea today
• that peanut butter and apple butter are really good together
• for season and times for everything

"Focus exclusively on God and light, and never on darkness, temptation, and sin." ~ from Fr. Thomas Hopko's 55 Maxims

My Father

     I hear a lot of teens my age complain and grumble about their parents. They say they hate their parents for setting curfews, for not allowing them to date, for withholding money, phones, etc. I never wanted to be like that. 

     I try really hard not to be upset with my parents, and though we don't always agree, I love them dearly. 

     Today I'm specifically going to talk about why I love my dad. He's always been there for me, even after a long hard day at work. He puts up with my whining about life, my pestering about animals, my tantrums over math, and my general pigheadedness. 

     But my favorite memories with my dad are the ones where he teaches me something. He shows me good driving techniques (which will be put to good use soon enough), he tells me how to cook food properly, and he explains the ridiculous confusion that is math. 

     Not only that, but my dad is one of the best role models when it comes to hard work. He's great at fixing and building and accomplishing things, whether it's rebooting the computer, making my room, or solving disagreements with my mom or my siblings. No matter what, if Dad's working on it, it'll turn out just fine. 

     Just last year, on Father's Day, one of our rabbits had escaped the yard. The whole family was out trying to catch her. As it got later and later, Mom had to take my young siblings inside, and soon it was Dad and me chasing the rabbit. Then it started raining. By the time we finally got the rabbit inside it was pouring buckets. And yet, on Father's Day, my dad was outside, soaking wet, catching my rabbit with me. To be honest, it was miserable. But I never forgot that, no matter how much he complained about those rabbits, Dad knew how much they mattered to me and he loved me enough to make sure they were all safe before he got out of the rain. And to this day he still does the same thing all the time. He built those rabbits an amazing hutch and now they're perfectly safe, for good this time. 

     So while he may not ever read this, I just wanted to express thanks for my amazing dad. I hope you all take the time to at least tell someone how you feel about your dad, because he deserves for someone to know how much you love him. 

     I love you dad. 

Rain

I remember how some rainy days we would get to our history class and someone would complain about the wet weather and my teacher would tell us that rainy days were some of his favorite. For some reason, that has stuck with me. Some days I can really like the rain, some day, I really don't but most of the time I don't even think about it. I'm usually not paying enough attention to know whether I like it or not. Today, as I battle feeling really low, I was planning to go out to a little park I know. It's one of those hidden parks that not a lot of people know about, but is very beautiful and quiet. It's also unexpectedly large. I was very disappointed when I learned it was going to rain.

I ended up having to go out later to return a book to the university. I stopped for coffee on the way back and allowed myself to sit in Starbucks just sitting, drinking my coffee, and relaxing. When I came out it was raining, but it was so pretty. Soft rain falling down, making everything misty and peaceful, warm and cool all at once. When I got back home, I went up to room, where I'd left my window open. My room smelled like the beautiful rain outside and now I'm lying on my bed listening to the rain fall outside my window. It's beautiful! I'm sure there will be times when I wonder why I love rain, why I'm thankful for it, but I am. I am thankful

• for the smell of rain coming in through the open window
• for the peaceful sound of falling rain
• that I got the laundry that's been sitting in my basket for months put away
• for coffee
• for surprises (this is one I know I will not always be thankful for)
• for music that matches my quiet mood
• for a (mostly) quiet day at home
• that I'm at peace right now
• that God made rain and all of the world
• for flowers and gardens and parks and everything beautiful
• for changing plans
• that I can't do everything
• for an upcoming trip to Louisville
• for chirping birds
• for wet grass
• for candles and tea lights
• for comfortable chairs and books
• for cinnamon sugar almonds
• for quiet smiles and people who care

The little things often make the most difference. Prepare to be astonished by the ordinary.

Miracles

The last couple days have been pretty rough. I've been tired, feeling out of rhythm, feeling like you do when you eat too much candy and read too much (I hope you know what I mean when I say this), and just a bit depressed. But you know what, there is still so much to be thankful for, especially the little things when you are depressed. I am thankful

• for Pentecost and the coming of the Holy Spirit
• that we can sing/say "O Heavenly King" again
• for good-smelling lotion
• for girls' group
• for a friend who offered to meet me for coffee and helping me find a rhythm on the spot as soon as she saw how frustrated I was
• that so many friends and families have opened their homes to me and love me
• for pillows and soft beds, especially at the end of a long day
• for candy and chocolate (even when I eat too much of it)
• for quiet time at girls' group
• for lists
• that I get to choose what I do (even if I don't always like it)
• for some great reflections and conversations at youth last night
• for Liturgy and the Eucharist this morning
• for God's grace
• for psalms
• for fun music that makes me forget how miserable I am
• for a friend who agreed to check up on me in the morning to make sure I'm not listening to moody music and that I actually get something accomplished tomorrow
• for icons and incense and vigil lamps
• that as I was praying this evening, I realized how much I loved, even when I don't feel like loving anymore
• that when I am sad and hurt, I can read the Bible and get comfort from Christ's example

Lord, thank you for everything, the good and the bad. Let Your will be done in me in every circumstance!

To the reader of this blog: I challenge you to be intentionally thankful. See the miracles that are worked as a result!

Mom

     In the past four days, I have accomplished at least four weeks worth of work in science. It has felt amazing to make a plan and actually stick to it, even in such a small amount of time and work. However, I would not have been able to do any of it without the help and support and constant nagging of my mom. 

     I'm not a very motivated person when it comes to school or chores, and I am very thankful and lucky to have such an organized mother. She excels at organizing, planning, and carry out any work, plan, or event. Her plans and organizations don't always work, but she never gives up and is always trying to find ways to make life run a little smoother. She has taught me so much. 

     Mothers, I think, are one of the most under-appreciated workers on the planet. I mean, thanking them and giving them stuff on Mother's Day is great and all, but they work all year and receive little gratitude. If anything, motherhood is viewed in our society as "unfashionable" or "unsightly" work. Breast feeding and disciplining children is a huge no-no in public. Mothers raise and teach the world, one child at a time, and they're scolded when they're caught doing it. Either that, or they're frowned upon for not having perfect hair, clothes, and children. Being a mother is not easy, and I think more people need to realize it. 

 

     I personally have gained a lot of respect for mothers in the past few months as I've become more aware of what it's like to corral kids, clean houses, and get anywhere on time, all with your own self motivation. It's a lot harder than they make it look. But I also have a lot of respect for mothers because they don't just do the basics of keeping everyone alive. They sit and cuddle with their babies instead of taking a bath during a quite moment, they read books to their toddlers instead of hopping on Facebook for some adult conversation, and they do crafts with their grade schoolers instead of watching that movie they'd planned to see. They give up their time for their kids, and they enjoy it. That, is the greatest gift kids will ever receive. I know it was, and still is, for me. 

     Thank you so much to all you  mothers out there. You're fantastic.